You are here

BT_20160101_COVERSTORY_2046550.jpg

Bye bye 2015, hello 2016!

What lies ahead in 2016 for the newmakers of 2015? BT Lifestyle gazes into its uber-comprehensive A-Z crystal ball.
Jan 1, 2016 5:50 AM

Attachment

A for Amos Yee

THERE are rebellious teenagers and there is Amos Yee who makes Kylo Ren look like an angel. But with enlistment looming as he turns 18 this year, BMT might finally straighten him out. Stay tuned as The Singapore Armed Forces Awakens the recalcitrant teen.

B for Bad Bloggers

When Juli "Bun Bun" got invited to her friend's wedding, she shared the couple's big day... by trashing their party. Her live tweets ranged from mild ("The food was pretty alright") to mean ("The bride's drowning in her own gown") to full-on b*tchy ("When people see a bridal car, they will naturally want to look at the bride... (but) people kept looking at me (instead)."). Never mind Bride-zillas, a new breed of Wedding Monster is born.

C for CPF website outage

Giving SMRT trains a run for its money, the CPF website - like your average over-worked Singaporean - decided to take a year-end breather. But happen again and expect Roy Ngerng to lead a new #ReturnOurCPFWebsite campaign.

D for Downtown Line 2

Or as some parents of students at an elite school on Barker Road call it, the "we-can-now-fire-the-chauffeur-yeay" train. (That is, if it doesn't break down or cause delays like it did on the second day of operations on Monday.)

E for Eunoia (yoo-noh-iea) Junior College

Like everybody else, taxi drivers are going to have a hard time so we recommend just telling them, "Uncle, you-know-ah, junior college." Or something like that.

F for Funan Centre

Wait, did the wrong IT mall get shut down? There are no errant salesmen in this one!

G for Gravity

Great for everyday use; not so good when most people experienced it the hard way while trying out this year's hottest Christmas gift - the hoverboard. Incidentally, the self-balancing scooter is not only blowing up cash registers everywhere but also houses after reports of its batteries catching fire and exploding due to over-charging.

H for Haze

Choking Singapore for decades now, the 2015 haze lasted longer than usual and even caused schools to close. Finally, our own version of Snow Day complete with its theme song Do You Want to Build a Smog-man?

I is for Ian "Lemmy" Kilmister

The late frontman of British heavy metal band Motorhead died two days after learning he had cancer... and while playing his favourite videogame at home earlier this week. It's a spectacular exit for a rock god and as his bandmates posted on the group's website after his death: "Play Motorhead loud, play Hawkwind (Kilmister's previous band) loud, play Lemmy's music loud. Have a drink or few... He would want exactly that." R.I.P.

J for Jover Chew

For cheating his customers, the owner of the now-defunct mobile phone shop has been sentenced to 33 months jail and fined S$2,000... which he might or might not be paying with coins.

K for Kong Hee

The City Harvest trial became one of the longest-running court trials in Singapore, running for 140 days - that ironically made its founding pastor a lot more (un)popular than his pop-star-wannabe wife.

L for Louie van Gaal

What's in the secret folder the Manchester United manager carries around with him, nobody knows. But with the team's dismal performance of late, we're just going to ask him, "Eh, Louie van How?"

M for Michelin Guide Singapore

Good news for foodies; better news for landlords as they get ready to raise rents once the queues start forming.

N for National Day Parade 2016

Until Madonna makes up her mind whether she wants to come, the year's biggest show to be staged at the Sports Hub looks set to be another three-hour-long stage spectacular with plenty of old songs: the National Day Parade 2016.

O for Office Politics at Stamford Bridge

Office politics comes to the football pitch as 11 men turned their ex-manager Jose Mourinho into The Not-So-Special One at Chelsea Football Club. Despite hovering near the relegation zone on the league table, Mourinho's interim replacement Guus Hiddink hasn't ruled out a fourth-place finish. Is that from the bottom or the top, we wonder?

P for Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach aka Miss Philippines

Keeping her composure despite the boo-boo at the Miss Universe 2015 pageant, Miss Philippines proved once and for all that beauty queens do come with brains; something which host Steve Harvey lacked when he misread his cue card that led to the gaffe. To make matters worse, he later tweeted an apology to "Miss Philippians" and "Miss Columbia".

Q for Queen of Pop 'live' in Singapore

Like a true diva, Madonna is keeping her Singapore fans waiting. We're not giving up hope though.

R for Racism

Namely the Singapore kid who didn't want to sit next to a man on account of his different ethnicity during a screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Somebody here needs to be sent to another galaxy far, far away.

S for Star Wars Spoilers

Nothing riled the public up more than those who revealed a major plot point from the latest Star Wars film. Fans with loose lips were threatened both online and offline making The Force Awakens the most dangerous film to watch and discuss since, erm, The Crying Game.

T for Trump

Some people throw caution to the wind; Donald Trump throws political correctness out of the window. The property-tycoon-turned-US-Presidential-hopeful might be a hoot to watch on The Apprentice but his campaign is trashier than daytime soap opera.

U for the UEFA European Championship 2016

Will two-time defending champions Spain be able to hold on to the title? That is nowhere as nerve-wrecking as local fans wondering where they will find another arm and/or leg to sell just to afford the subscription fees to catch it on cable TV.

V for Vinyl

Want to buy the new Adele album on CD? Tough luck with music chain stores dropping like flies. But with more indie shops sprouting up all over town, it's ironically easier to find the record on vinyl. Not bad for a format that was thought to be long dead.

W for Wars at the multiplex

Namely Star Wars: Rogue One and Warcraft, two big-screen blockbusters to look forward to in 2016. Shhh... no spoilers, please.

X for Xenophobia

It's 2016 already and the Internet isn't made for hating. Unless you're Donald Trump, of course.

Y is for Yang Yin

According to Wikipedia, Yang Yin (511-560) was a high-level official of the Chinese dynasty Northern Qi. On the contrary, his present-day namesake is a low-level grassroots volunteer who also came from China and is currently on trial for pretending he was part of a rich widow's dynasty while living in her bungalow in the north.

Z for Zero Tolerance for Adam Lambert

Over 20,000 people signed a petition to keep him out of Thursday night's televised New Year's Eve countdown special. We almost accidentally did it too; but only because we thought everyone wanted Kelly Clarkson instead!