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Importance of seeing the world in shades of grey

Many individuals cannot integrate the positive and negative qualities of the self, splitting the world into friends and enemies.

Published Mon, May 4, 2015 · 09:50 PM
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JOAN, a senior executive, wasn't the easiest person to deal with. Although she had many excellent qualities - she was creative, had a great capacity for work and was extremely knowledgeable about the industry - she also had the tendency to engage in drama and in doing so rapidly got on people's nerves. Joan was rigid in her outlook, had angry outbursts, was manipulative and constantly criticised everything. She seemed to always be involved in some kind of vendetta, forcing people to choose sides. In Joan's world there was no such thing as a middle ground, her thinking was exclusively black and white.

Joan had what is called a bivalent leadership style. For her, people were either good or bad. She would only deal with people she perceived as "good', expressing disdain for those she saw as "bad" and as a consequence instigated intense strife wherever she went. Co-workers who were once friends, became enemies after the merest hint of criticism or perceived slight as she refused to concede she may have misinterpreted them or had distorted reality.

A 360-degree feedback report revealed just how far the toxicity had permeated the organisation. Her colleagues were tired of her insistence that they choose sides in her attempts to draw them into quarrels and it became evident that if things continued as they were, there was no chance the company was going to achieve the high performance targets it had identified.

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