The Last Reindeer: A BT Christmas Tale

(If you can't view the video above, click/tap here) By KELLY TAY

'Twas the night before Christmas All kids were in bed, The promise of Santa Wove through little heads.

"A puppy? A toy train? I wonder what I'll get," Wondered Johnny aloud As he played wish-list roulette.

But up at the North Pole Things looked pretty dire. A tight labour market Had sought to conspire

Against earlier plans To deliver all presents - Santa's nine reindeer Were not being pleasant:

"It's just too much work For us to pull a fat man Across the whole world Oh, it's such a scam!

"We're only paid peanuts And the work is so tough, Once Santa's down the chimney We're out in the rough!"

And due to a botch-up With fresh calculations, The sleigh was much heavier; There were more locations

More kids were good this year More stops would be needed, "The load is too heavy "One more reindeer!" they pleaded.

So Santa had looked For another reindeer to hire; He put out a job ad Listing traits he desired:

"Red noses preferred," (Since Rudolph proved great) "Only looking for reindeer From up here, upstate."

But his job ad was found To be discriminatory "Consider all fairly," Said a higher authority.

So Santa amended The job ad to say: "All reindeer are welcome To help pull my sleigh!"

And those from the South Pole Jumped quick at the offer: "A chance to pull Santa While filling my coffer!"

After five rounds of choosing With strict interviews, St Nick picked one reindeer Hoping joy would ensue

Little did he know Another shock lay in wait - The Deerpower Bureau Would again set him straight.

He failed to take stock Of employee numbers, you see His dependency ratio Hit the maximum decreed.

And so that work permit Could not be approved, Thus Santa's predicament Was still unimproved

So Santa tried once more To hire local staff, But all of his efforts Were just met with laughs

As those from the North Pole Merely scoffed at the ad: "The work is so menial There're sweeter jobs to be had."

Cried Santa as he wondered How to fill the last job: "All these local reindeer Are unbelievable snobs!"

He was growing ever-desperate As time was a-ticking, He'd exhausted all options But still none were sticking.

As the hour of departure Approached late at night, Santa was despondent With no solution in sight.

He decided to set off With his usual team of nine, And encouraged them on With all the strength he could find.

But the night flashed by quickly And the sun began to rise, Santa's stomach was lurching He knew the little ones would cry!

Australia was done, As were Europe and North America, But he never made it to Asia Nor the continent of Africa.

And so goes the tale Of the Christmas that was missed It suffices to say That the kids were all miffed.

"Santa failed to deliver," People everywhere said, "We'll just have to believe In something else instead."