The curse of year-end introspection

IN THE final weeks before ushering in a new decade, it is nearly inevitable for us to lament how time has passed too soon, and that we must, we must, reflect on the 12 months gone by.

Indeed, with the rising encouragement of forms of meditation and self-reflection, the popularity of all manner of introspectives might just be on the up.

But a 2018 Harvard Business Review article that I read recently sounded a worthy caution about introspection. Contrary to popular belief, wrote organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich, introspection does not pave evenly the path towards self-awareness - an enviable state of mind that is found in just among 10-15 per cent of 5,000 people whom she had studied five years ago.

In fact, her research showed that people who introspect are less self-aware and report poorer job satisfaction. This comes despite the instinctive belief that those who are deeply self-reflective must surely wield a well-honed skill in picking apart their thoughts and feelings.

"The problem with introspection isn't that it is categorically ineffective - it's that most people are doing it incorrectly," Dr Eurich wrote.

The issue, it seems, comes from the starting point of asking "why". In the absence of situational awareness and counterpoints for a conclusion born of severe rumination, people who deem themselves introspective end up coming to the wrong conclusion on the reasons that a certain situation may have taken an unexpected - or bad - turn.

"Because so much is trapped outside of our conscious awareness, we tend to invent answers that feel true but are often wrong," the article said. "Consequently, the problem with asking 'why' isn't just how wrong we are, but how confident we are that we are right."

Besides the inherent bias in humans that causes us to ignore evidence contrary to our inferred meditations, the negative skew involved in the time-honoured sport of navel-gazing can lead to "unproductive" thoughts.

Dr Eurich's research showed that introspective individuals are entangled in "ruminative patterns" that would zoom in on insecurities and ill-confidence. This narrows the room for a more objective assessment of one's own strengths and weaknesses.

So how does the rarefied group of self-aware individuals snap out of their ruminative funk? It seems that they ask "what" nearly ten times more than "why".

Asking the "what" forces thoughts to turn towards actionable steps to learn from mistakes and more critically, avoid that self-inflicted paralysis so as to move forward.

With that, how refreshing it was just this month to see the newly appointed president of the European Central Bank Christine Lagarde make a point about her leadership approach early in her endeavour. In remarks to the media, she was categorical about setting her own path.

"I will have my own style," she declared. "Don't over-interpret, don't second guess, don't cross reference."

This is the same leader who has given up on drinking to endure a gruelling flight schedule, and has openly shown how she fakes a sip of wine at social events. My guess is, she's as self-aware as they come.

Get by with a little help from friends, too. Well-known author Adam Grant, who is also an organisational psychologist, points out that friends are better informants on one's personality traits. While individuals outshine their friends in knowing how anxious they were about their physical appearance, friends are found to be better predictors of one's intellect.

Dr Grant suggests having two networks to boost one's self-awareness quotient.

"Build a support network filled with people that you can count on to bring you up when you're down. These should be the people you trust, those that will always give compliments and increase your confidence," he wrote. "Your challenge network should be the people who will tell you that you're not quite where you need to be. These are the people that will push you because they care about helping you get better."

With certain families, the support network and challenge network may just be one and the same.

One of my favourite anecdotes from a corporate leader comes from the former PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi.

The day she was appointed as president of the consumer giant, Ms Nooyi returned home two hours ahead of her usual midnight clock-out to convey her good news to the family.

"My mother was waiting at the top of the stairs. And I said, 'Mom, I've got great news for you.' She said, 'let the news wait. Can you go out and get some milk'," she related.

"I banged it on the counter and I said, 'I had great news for you. I've just been told that I'm going to be president on the board of directors. And all that you want me to do is go out and get the milk, what kind of a mom are you?'

"And she said to me, 'let me explain something to you. You might be president of PepsiCo...But when you enter this house, you're the wife, you're the daughter, you're the daughter-in-law, you're the mother. You're all of that. Nobody else can take that place. So leave that damned crown in the garage. And don't bring it into the house."

They say family can keep you honest. To clear up what might be a foggy recollection through this decade, leave some mulling to friends and loved ones who might just know better. And then, chin up and carry on. Merry Christmas, and a happy 2020.