The best present is being present

“YOU seem more highly strung than usual,” a colleague commented.

My knee-jerk reaction to the remark was denial, followed by reflection. 

The pandemic has taught us to seize the day, and with fewer restrictions this time after more than two years, we were going all out with the celebrations this festive season.

My diary, once devoid of any activities, was jam-packed with activities and meetings.

Non-stop revelry with friends and family, and the constant dashing around from party to party. This, coupled with work, and it felt like I was being pulled in different directions.

In the midst of making up for lost time with family and friends, I think I had somewhat overcompensated. It was not so much exhaustion, but more of a feeling of running on a near-empty gas tank at times, with the nearest refuelling station miles away.

“I think you are experiencing social exhaustion,” my friend chimed in when I described my situation to her.   

The burnout of social relationships is real, and I suppose I was experiencing one. Interaction with others does take up a lot of energy, after all.

The impetus to address the issue came when the group of friends I usually hang out with also started noticing that I was more listless and “absent”. 

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Comments such as “you weren’t paying attention, right” and “we were just talking about it!” were thrown my way more frequently – and I knew it was not my usual “blur” self that was acting up. 

It then dawned on me that ironically, while I should be winding down as it was the end of the year, my calendar was more packed than ever. And I really might as well have been absent at those meet-ups as I was not present in the moment. 

Taking proactive steps

The first thing that I did to try and work on the situation was to tap the knowledge I gleaned from the pandemic – by mingling with the people who counted. 

Learning how to reject some invites was difficult, but necessary. 

A friend jokingly said that although we did not have the convenient excuse of the lockdown anymore, we could feign illness and “escape the meetups”. 

But of course, feelings would be hurt if I were found out. To prevent possible drama in the future, I just postponed some meetups to an indefinite date when I would have more bandwidth to be present with the person I would be with. 

I feel this is also the respect that should be accorded to the person I am meeting with. 

Me time

How long has it been since you read a book, or did something that you enjoyed?

It struck me that I have yet to read the book that I purchased one month ago. And I made a conscious decision that I would finish it by reading a few pages a day. 

Those moments spent alone are important to recharge and are something to look forward to if one feels overwhelmed. 

As we begin the new year, my wish list is nothing like that of pre-Covid times, when I had more than five lofty goals to tick off each year. 

Instead, I only have one wish for 2023 – and that is to be present. After all, isn’t that the best gift for your loved ones – your undivided attention.