Falling in love with big people is no small feat

LOOK at the picture accompanying the story. Does this woman look fat to you? Would you date her, get serious with her and maybe marry her if things worked out?

What if your friends made fun of you? What if your family objects? What if almost everything you see, from advertisements to TV shows and movies, depict slimness as the only physical measure of desirability? Could your love overcome them all?

You may say "hell, yes, I think she's cute" now - as does Tom, the male protagonist in Pangdemonium's new play - but societal pressure might just pummel, smack and swing that answer into negative territory.

Fat Pig is the title of the play and those two words alone make such an aggressive combination, that when posters were put up with images of actress Frances Lee as the titular "fat pig", people who knew Lee were embarrassed or appalled for her.

Lee, who's 23 and not yet out of acting school, says: "My friends didn't know what to think - whether I'd be hurt or sad playing in a show like that. They wanted to call and congratulate me for getting a lead part, but they weren't sure how I really felt.

"The truth is I'm thrilled to be doing this. And the theatre company Pangdemonium were really sensitive about my feelings, making really sure I was comfortable about the concept of the poster."

The play begins with Tom, a young executive, who ends up sharing a table at a crowded restaurant with Helen, an overweight librarian. Tom (played by Gavin Yap) is handsome and successful. Helen (played by Lee) is sweet, smart and funny. The attraction to each other is mutual and instant. They quickly become fast friends, then passionate lovers. Snuggling in bed one night, he tells her he hasn't "felt this way for a long time. Ever."

It seems there's nothing standing in the way of their happiness - except peer pressure.

At work, Tom is consistently taunted for his choice of girlfriend. His colleague Carter is a sneering, leering male chauvinist who describes Helen as a "cow", "slob" or "pig".

Tom's other colleague Jeanne - who used to date Tom - is a skinny woman who makes up for her lack of body fat with an excess of malice. Tom's insecurities about loving a plus-sized woman transform his otherwise good relationship with Helen into a, well, recipe for disaster.

Yet, it is these "absolutely recognisable" flaws in the characters that drew acclaimed director Tracie Pang to stage the Neil LaBute play in the first place: "The characters are not conventionally likeable, but they are desperately human and thus far more interesting.

"Fat Pig is a play that cuts deep with its disturbing black humour, but it does not trivialise the subject matter of being overweight or societal prejudice. The play gets inside the issues and explores them and it is very moving."

Pang has been married to actor Adrian Pang for 18 years and received universal raves last year for her direction of Next To Normal and Rabbit Hole. She says: "Strangely enough, body image issues never really bothered me as a woman until I came to live in Singapore in my 20s. I managed to get through my teens pretty much unscathed, I was tall, slim-ish and average looking, but when I came here it was so easy to get caught up in looking slimmer, having a better hair cut, better clothes.

"I've come to believe that when you learn to accept who you are and make the most out of it, then you will feel happy and confident. Being obsessed with money, looks and clothes may work for some. But for the majority of us, it is just bullsh*t."

Like Pang, actress Lee made peace with the body she was born with. She strongly identifies with the character of Helen, a woman who is completely aware of her supposed physical shortcomings, but accepts it with humour and wisdom. Lee says: "They used to call me ah pui (fatty) in primary school. Then, when I went to St Margaret's Secondary School, I watched other girls get attached while I stayed single. Now that I'm older, I realise confidence and self-acceptance are far more important qualities. I'm currently seeing someone - a musician - and we're happy."

Meanwhile, what do the men have to say about all this?

Yap, who plays the male lead Tom, thinks the women can be equally judgemental about a man's physique: "It's not just men - we all fall prey to these notions of the 'ideal' or the 'norm'. They're fed to us through popular culture. It's complete nonsense and I'd like to think we all grow out of that cr*p eventually.

"At the end of the day, everyone deserves love and happiness regardless of weight, colour, religion, age, sexuality and any other perceived barrier."

helmi@sph.com.sg

Fat Pig plays at DBS Arts Centre at Merbau Road from Feb 13 to March 2. Shows are at 8pm, with 3pm matinees on weekends. Tickets from $30 to $55 from Sistic.