If I Survive You: The relentless pursuit to belong

AT FIRST glance, If I Survive You appears like the title of a romantic melodrama by Colleen Hoover (It Ends With Us, Regretting You) or a horror mystery by Jennifer McMahon (The One I Left Behind, The Drowning Kind). However, the Booker Prize-nominated novel by Jamaican-American writer Jonathan Escoffery defies such expectations, unveiling poignant new meanings in the title as one delves deeper into its narrative.

On the surface, the title hints at the complex and often strained relationships between fathers and sons – a theme that resonates throughout the novel. In an interview, Escoffery suggests that the need to “survive” our fathers is a universal experience, underlining the weighty emotional terrain explored within his work.

Yet, If I Survive You is more than just a familial allegory. It also serves as a powerful symbol for the intricate challenges faced by the novel’s central Jamaican immigrant family as they navigate the complexities of life in a new country. Here, the word “You” takes on other meanings, representing both the United States and the myriad obstacles that confront impoverished people of colour. These hurdles include systemic racism, pervasive violence, employment struggles, and a criminal justice system fraught with injustice.

Although the novel is composed of eight short stories told by different characters, it largely focuses on Trelawny – the son of Jamaican immigrants whose place in the world keeps shifting to his psychic detriment. In Jamaica, his light brown-skinned parents exert superiority over those with darker complexions. But growing up in Miami, Trelawny is constantly misidentified as Dominican. When he goes to college in the Midwest, he is then shoved into a new category he must grapple with – that of being “unquestionably Black.”

Trelawny’s arduous quest to delineate an identity eludes and frustrates not only others, but also himself. Unable to feel he belongs anywhere, Trelawny gets into frequent fights with his brother and father. His father thinks Trelawny is too studious and sensitive, lacking the tough, masculine exterior of his brother. When Trelawny’s parents decide to separate, his mother chooses Trelawny to live with her, while his father opts for his brother – opening up fresh wounds for Trelawny.

As an adult, Trelawny struggles to make ends meet, taking up degrading work advertised on Craigslist such as getting paid to hit a person with masochistic inclinations, or being hired to watch an exhibitionist couple make love. 

Unlike the conventional magazine stories of immigrants overcoming adversities, If I Survive You sheds light on the unvarnished and often overlooked aspects of the immigrant experience. It unflinchingly reveals the ways individuals like Trelawny grapple with the intricacies of self-acceptance and self-loathing in a prejudiced, unforgiving world.

If I Survive You does not just tell its stories from the perspective of Trelawny. The narrative shifts to his father, written in his Jamaican patois, to his brother as a struggling musician with a shady side hustle, and then to other characters too. They try their best to pursue the American Dream, but life constantly knocks them down, and only sometimes do they get up.

Escoffery’s talent shines in the way he paints rich portraits of Jamaican immigrants with empathy, humour and inventiveness, constantly changing gear from the first-person narrative to the second person to the third, and shifting landscapes from the emotional to the geographical. The writing is sharp, snappy and funny, though the stories are weighty with themes of alienation, familial rejection, financial struggles and the erosion of hope. 

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It is not a novel for everyone. But there are certainly many who can relate to the feeling of not being at ease with the world, falling behind its expectations, or grappling with the persistent sense that one will never attain one’s dreams. Escoffery’s novel offers solace and comic relief.