The last of a flying breed
The Audi RS 3 might have fearsome looks and frightening performance, but it will be remembered for something else altogether
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By Leow Ju-Len
I ONCE walked into a biergarten restroom in Germany and saw a vending machine for prophylactics called “Anti-Baby Condoms”. I later tried to order some Anti-Sobriety Beer and was met with a blank look, but the Teutonic dedication to literal-mindedness is obviously still a thing.
The new Audi RS 3 Sportback has a device that splits torque, for example, and it’s called (drumroll please) the RS Torque Splitter.
More on that later. For now, we all know at least one pint-sized guy who just loves to pick fights, and on the surface it looks like the RS 3 is that little Napoleon in car form. It’s only the size of a Volkswagen Golf, but the blistered arches give it the wide stance of something just spoiling for a punch-up, and that blacked-out front grille drips with subtle menace.
Turns out, the average sportscar has plenty to fear here. The RS 3 isn’t just fast, it’s the kind of car that can bloody the nose of just about anything else it shares the tarmac with. It’ll kick 100 km/h in the face in 3.8 seconds, which is quicker than a basic Porsche 911 can do it. It’s limited to 250 km/h, but if you slip Audi a couple of extra bucks (S$7,373, to be precise), you can have the speed governor set at a heady 280 km/h. Describing the RS 3 as a hot hatch is a bit like saying The Rock is a slightly beefy guy.
If you’re in the know about these things, you’ll have expected nothing less from the RS 3. In Sportback form, this third-generation model is the quickest hatchback money can buy at the moment, while the Sedan variant is the fastest compact car around the Nurburgring’s Nordschleife circuit, where car companies go to compare laptimes, essentially wagging their willies at each other (except in this case, the shorter the better).
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Yet, you don’t have to be anywhere near a racing circuit to feel a sense of occasion about driving the RS 3. If the bodywork isn’t fierce enough for your liking, you can always accessorise with a carbon fibre roof spoiler (yours for S$8,109), though for decency’s sake, you would be obliged to pair that with carbon mirror caps for another S$2,678.
Climb aboard, and you’ll find the cabin strikes a similarly racy tone, not least because of the sporty front seats, with their quilted upholstery, coloured stitching and patches of scarlet. You can add flashes of colour to the air-con vents, but if there’s a real highlight, it’s the steering wheel. Instead of shiny leather, it’s covered in a synthetic suede material, for more grip when the palms get sweaty. Trust me, that’s a good idea.
Inner thug
The RS 3 is quick enough just pootling about, but it has an inner thug that you can release in an instant by tapping a small “RS” on the steering wheel, and that’s when things get properly frightening. The Audi can sling around corners with enough speed to test your masculinity, but the RS Torque Splitter divides the engine’s power between each rear wheel so you can keep your turns tight by accelerating through a bend, instead of backing off like you would in other cars. To get the best from this car, you have to train yourself to go harder just as you think you’ve already gone too hard.
The other things you can alter by prodding the RS button are the engine and gearbox response, the steering’s heft, the suspension hardness and a flap in the exhaust that makes it louder and more bass-heavy. Tweaking all that can make the RS 3 feel like a different car altogether. It’s actually comfy and civilised enough to work as a daily driver, but with the right settings activated, it just becomes a snarling creature that a loanshark wouldn’t mess with.
If there’s one thing that defines the RS 3, however, it’s its unique voice. Most times there’s a low, background growl from the 2.5-litre 5-cylinder, which is essentially half a Lamborghini engine with a turbocharger attached, but things pipe up terrifically in the RS Performance mode. Lots of engines kick out mighty horsepower numbers, but when you work the Audi hard, you’re rewarded with a full-throated bellow with an off-beat throb, courtesy of the fact that 5 cylinders sound like nothing else out there.
The noise is distinctive enough that you could identify an RS 3 blindfolded, and it’s a sound that is about to fade into legend as Audi, like other carmakers, abandons engines altogether. That’s just the way things are these days; apparently, one-in-three people who walk into an Audi showroom are there to check out the brand’s e-tron electric cars. If anything is going to convince them to stick to petrol for now, though, it will be the RS 3 and its unforgettable voice.
Audi RS 3 Sportback TFSI quattro S tronic
Engine 2,480 cc, in-line 5, turbocharged Power 400 hp at 5,600 - 7,000 rpm Torque 500 Nm at 2,250 - 5,600 rpm Gearbox 7-speed dual-clutch 0-100 km/h 3.8 seconds Top Speed 250 km/h Fuel Efficiency 9.8 L/100 km Agent Premium Automobiles Price S$363,075 with COE Available Now
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