Haha, the funny thing is...

THERE may not be a more powerful term on the vast communication universe than this four-letter word. It has French roots, though no pardons are needed. It is very much fit for print.

It's this - haha.

As texting overtakes phone calls and face-to-face interactions to dominate communication today, the "haha" is top of the pile in the passive-aggressive text toolkit.

Had famous texts and movie dialogues been rewritten with a sprinkle of "haha", books and films would have in them pauses so pregnant that fertility numbers would reach replacement rate in Singapore. The word "haha" is said to have originated out of France in the early 18th century, and indicated a cry of surprise when met with a physical obstacle. The obvious reference comes as well from mimicking the sound of laughter.

Except there's nothing funny about "haha". A poll of friends suggested that the word is used to either soften an incoming objection to an idea, that is, a "haha" typically prefacing "but", or to make a half-hearted show of levity to a group of energetic friends fond of speaking with multiple exclamation points. In this case, a smiley face is usually tagged on for lazy emphasis.

Then, there is a third and more vexing use of "haha", which is to show reluctant agreement, usually manifesting in the phrase "haha okay".

The first two examples are means of speaking in an indirect manner, in the same way most conversations with traditional Asian parents go.

But the ambiguity of the third instance is more complex and nuanced. What can be said is that as a matter of power play, the "haha okay" might be that last grasp at control, as the speaker tries to hold on to the strings of tension and vagaries.

A "haha okay" translates sometimes to "I'm saying yes, but I want you to know that I'm not pleased, and may scheme my way into saying no, so really, this is a maybe. Confused? Tough. :) "

There is a disingenuity behind the two words put together, as the meaning of one word negates that of the other in near perfect symmetry. In the absence of context that one would see in face-to-face communication, those two words combined on a screen take on a heavier layer of significance.

(The cognitive dissonance behind that single line alone could make for a worthy capstone project for psychology majors.)

It also brings to mind the curse of self-deprecation that comes with comic relief. This was explored with skilful finesse on the recent Netflix special Nanette, the hour-long comedy show filmed by Australian stand-up comedian Hannah Gadsby.

There were many gut-wrenching moments in her brand of redefined black comedy. The gay comedian spoke of the day that she had been assaulted because of her sexuality - an episode that she had to erase from her comic lines in order to pull off the jokes for her audience.

To deal with marginalisation, she told jokes that crudely masked the real punchlines of black and blue.

Gadsby deftly blended humour into a stirring meta-critique of the stand-up profession. She shattered the art form by questioning the devastating self-deprecation by comedians, who deal with the one-two punch of a joke, but in order to do so, subtract from the full arc of a life story.

This deconstructed life story is typically the comedians' own, retooled like the marketing spin by lifestyle influencers, but with greater damning consequences for the narrator. For Gadsby, making a career out of self-deprecation, while living on the fringes of society, has hurt. "It's not humility. It's humiliation."

That being said, self-deprecation may be a matter of shrewd strategy for certain female executives. An article in Psychology Today suggested that powerful women in the boardroom may be shielding themselves through self-deprecation, as it signals that they are less of a threat, particularly in a group of women.

But the article likewise pointed out that for women (and men) battling low-esteem and seeking societal acceptance, self-deprecation does not work the same way. It is a sign of struggle in building up confidence to tackle work and life.

Another female comedian, Amy Schumer, tackled this complex art of self-deprecation among women in a comedy sketch. A group of women each took turns dumping down on the compliments offered to them, exaggerating the extent of self-deprecation by the count. When the last of the group shows up and accepts the compliment with a contrasting word of thanks, the ensuing shock causes the rest of the group to turn on one another, and on themselves.

The power dynamics of humour go beyond gender lines.

Think of the last time there was an explosion of corporate laughter in a room of suited-up executives. The jokes from the podium are rarely funny. Instead, the laughter is a natural response to a tension driven by power that the speaker represents.

Researchers believe that leaders of large corporations are less able in reading nuanced emotional signals from their subordinates, because of sycophantic responses such as laughter. The blindspot develops even if subordinates didn't intend to send signs of ingratiation through chuckles.

So most of what we communicate through laughter is far from merriment and mirth. It is the evolving gag reflex to the display of power that we try to subvert. Confused? Tough. The powerful do tell us so often to grin and bear it.