How to buy yourself a longer life

THE fitness chain Equinox recently announced a new peak of pampering, a higher altitude of indulgence. It’s a deluxe membership called Optimize by Equinox – it costs about US$40,000 a year and comes with a sleep coach.

I know what tennis coaches do. They bark corrections at players whose serves stink. I know what football coaches do. They scream at referees about pass-interference calls.

But a sleep coach? I picture a bedside bully with a stopwatch and Sominex, demanding a sprint into REM: “You can do it! Breathe! Dream!”