Have some sympathy

I’M BEGINNING to feel sorry for sympathy. It was once such an honourable impulse. Humble, sincere, caring. Sympathy was meant for people who suffered or had less. In its most modest form, a sympathy card was sent to people in grief.

But sympathy has got a bad rap. Now considered the noblesse oblige of emotions, it’s disdained as a facile “poor you” of a sentiment, the equivalent of pity. Sympathy, in short, is to be avoided – something you are warned not to give and would be loath to receive.

Instead, we are to upgrade to its superior, empathy. Schools and parenting guides instruct children in how to cultivate empathy, as do workplace culture and wellness programmes. You could fill entire bookshelves with guides to finding, embracing and sharing empathy. Few books or lesson plans extol sympathy’s virtues.