😼 Cliques and bullies: How to get help if you’re being targeted at your workplace

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👺 Identifying the face of bullying 

First things first – it’s important to understand the difference between bullying, harassment and abuse (verbal or physical).

According to Erman Tan, senior HR adviser and CEO of Asia Polyurethane Manufacturing (APU), workplace bullying often occurs when an individual has more power over someone else and the perpetrator exercises some kind of control over the victim. 

Harassment, on the other hand, refers specifically to repeated behaviour or gestures that are clearly unwelcome by the victim, thereby causing alarm and distress.

“The intent behind bullying and harassment, and the actions that follow, can be slightly different,” Tan tells thrive. 

That said, there are overlaps across the various forms of workplace bullying, harassment and abuse. While not all instances of harassment are considered bullying cases, some types of bullying can involve verbal or physical abuse. 

Here are some common examples of what bullying can look like in the workplace: 

Ostracisation or deliberately isolating an individual at work. Usually, this can look like excluding someone from lunch meetings or even chat groups for work projects. 

Verbal abuse, name-calling or insulting comments. Examples include: 

• “There are three people here in this meeting, but clearly, one of us is a dog.” 
• “The way you dress makes you look like a homeless person. I can’t stand it.” 

Allocating an exceedingly difficult job scope to someone junior or new to the team. This can happen if a workplace bully is seeking to give the victim a hard time managing a project or task at hand before blaming them for their incompetence. 

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Constantly changing plans and work direction to gaslight or manipulate victims. Frequent rescheduling of check-in dates, or even giving victims wrong deadlines or meeting timings to confuse or get them into trouble, is bullying. 

“Bullying, in particular, makes victims feel very disempowered at the workplace,” says Tan. 

“As a result, it is common for individuals to be disheartened if they feel that the right support and recourse is available in the process.” 

⛑️ HR rescue

If things are getting out of hand due to workplace bullying – and could put your career on the line as well – it’s time to seek help from your company’s human resources (HR) department. 

This would typically be the first port of call when dealing with bullying at work, especially if other efforts, such as confronting the bully directly or speaking to your manager about it, have come to nought. (HR would also be helpful if your boss is, in fact, the bully 👹.) 

Most HR departments, according to Tan, have proper grievance-handling procedures to support victims of workplace bullying and are trained to handle each case objectively and with care. 

This ensures that victims can feel safe in relaying the details of their situation without feeling that they could come under fire from the perpetrators for speaking out. 

“HR representatives are trained to investigate each bullying case thoroughly while maintaining the confidentiality of the supposed victim, as long as they are equipped with the right amount of evidence,” he explains. 

They can also issue warnings to these bullies and put other measures in place to ensure victims of workplace bullying are protected. 

“For very extreme cases, sometimes counselling is offered to both the victims and perpetrators,” Tan mentions.  

However, the reality is that it’s not always easy to prove bullying in the workplace, says Tan. Strong, concrete evidence is ultimately what will move things along when investigating cases of bullying at work. 

“Ideally, those who come forward to report a bullying case at work should have a couple of instances on hand to recount,” he says. “But once the bullying is shown to be a regular occurrence with intent, there’s definitely a case.” 

✍️ Going further (if need be)

In the unfortunate event that HR intervention has not helped, there are other options available, too.  

Individuals can file a report with the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (Tafep) if cases of bullying have spiralled into clear harassment or verbal or physical abuse. 

Those who lost their employment as a result of bullying can file a wrongful dismissal claim with the Tripartite Alliance for Dispute Management (TADM). 

“We usually see people go to Tafep or the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) for help when the bullies in question are in a very senior position,” Tan says. “These figures are typically indispensable and could really be abusing and controlling people for an extended period of time because they have so much more power than everyone else at their workplace.” 

Still, victims keen to lodge complaints with external organisations must have clear evidence to support their claims. 

“When the work of HR meets its limits, this is where the importance of workplace leadership and company culture comes in,” says Tan. “Good leadership is crucial to build a healthy culture of harmony and teamwork so that cases such as bullying do not arise at work.” 

It’s essential to keep in mind the available support channels should you encounter bullying larger than what you may be able to handle. The last thing you want to do is gaslight yourself into believing that the rumours a colleague keeps spreading aren’t hurting your career and everything is okay – when it’s not. If a firm chat with the perpetrator(s) has done no good, it’s time to start taking screenshots and collecting hard evidence. You’re going to want all the receipts ready for a solid case to be made 📋🧑‍⚖️. 

TL;DR

• Workplace bullying, harassment and abuse have nuanced differences, where the intent and resultant actions could look different
• Bullying at work often happens when one party has more power over another and can look like deliberately isolating someone or sabotaging someone with false work-related details to get them in trouble 😈
• HR can be a good source of help to resolve bullying cases at the workplace and are trained to protect the identity of the victim while investigating the matter thoroughly
• Other sources of help include Tafep, MOM and TADM for more severe cases of bullying, which may have led to more dire consequences for employees