💙 Blue Christmas

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🤯 Pressure cooker

While the holiday season is often considered a long-awaited break by many, it can feel like anything but for some. Facing a packed social calendar and a heavy load of family obligations, in addition to catch-ups with friends, can be anxiety-inducing. More pertinently, the expectation to be everywhere, all the time, can leave anyone feeling stressed. 

“There’s this unwritten rule book dictating that we must have the perfect Instagram-worthy gatherings, exchange lavish gifts, and radiate constant cheer,” Esther Oon-Bybjerg, a psychotherapist at Counseling Perspective, tells Thrive. “Feeling the pressure to meet these standards can be suffocating.”

According to Harmony Healthcare IT’s survey, one in four Gen Zs are planning to skip certain holiday gatherings this year due to anxiety. 

Oon-Bybjerg adds that such festive stress can result in physical issues such as headaches, sleep disturbances or increased rumination from this pressure.

Furthermore, the holidays often come with significant financial strain. Oon-Bybjerg notes how the stress of having to buy gifts, travel and participate in various events can create a sense of inadequacy for those who may not have the means to afford them. 

“Such financial stress can intensify feelings of not being able to keep up with societal expectations,” she says.  

Ken (not his real name), 22, a final-year student at Yale-NUS College, shares with Thrive that feeling the festive blues due to financial pressures is a common experience for him. 

“I am staying back in Singapore this holiday season because I have full-time work to do during this period, and I’m one of the few people left staying on campus,” he says. “I support myself financially, so it’s generally been difficult for me to take time off or go on holidays on a whim.” 

He adds that this has resulted in him experiencing feelings such as the “fear of missing out” or FOMO, anxiety and insecurity. “I often wonder if I should be enjoying life more by travelling and going on holidays, especially when I see almost everyone I know taking some time off for a vacation or to see their family,” Ken says. 

“It’s hard to balance my personal goals and the need to be financially secure.”

For others like Charis Lim, 25, an academic coach at an enrichment centre in Singapore, losing a loved one during the festive season has made it much harder to keep up a celebratory mood. Her grandmother’s recent passing was sudden and has left her family in a sombre mood. 

“As most of us were mentally drained by the administrative proceedings, the festive cheer has not been prevalent for my family. We were planning a short staycation but decided to delay it due to the demise of my grandmother,” Lim says. 

“Since her passing, I’ve had moments where I’ve struggled with the notion of a new, unfamiliar chapter of life (without my grandmother) for myself and my family,” she adds. 

Grief from such deep losses can be amplified during the festive season. “Whether it is a loss of a person, relationship, or a significant life circumstance, acknowledging and allowing oneself to experience these emotions is vital (to move forward),” says Oon-Bybjerg.

🎁 Choosing creativity and kindness

While varying challenges in our lives can affect how we feel about the holiday season, it is still possible to navigate one’s way through this time even if things aren’t the most ideal. Here are some things you can do to feel less blue this holiday season:

• Budgeting and finding creative ways to celebrate without overspending can alleviate financial stress. Consider gift options like homemade presents, organising potluck gatherings or seeking out free community events can help one regain a sense of financial control instead of ending the year feeling broke.
• Quality beats quantity when it comes to gatherings. Instead of spreading yourself thin, focus on spending quality time with those you’re close to. 
• Develop self-compassion when it comes to your unmet goals. Take a solutions-focused approach towards understanding why some of your goals for the year were not fulfilled. What were the obstacles that held you back? What can you do about it, and who in your network can help you? 
• Cope with any grief and loss by leaning into your support system. Seeking resources and support tailored to coping with grief, whether through friends and family, therapy or accessible information, can facilitate the acceptance and processing of complex emotions.
• Create healthy boundaries. If you find yourself dragging your feet to yet another party by an acquaintance you haven’t heard from in years or hesitating as to whether you should accept that invite to a distant relative’s gathering, saying no and prioritising self-care might be the way to go instead. It’s important to remember to schedule downtime for yourself 🛀 amid the end-of-year hustle and bustle.

There is no one ideal holiday season – and considering how we can never really pre-empt what life throws our way – being kind to ourselves and those around us can help with embracing the unpredictability of each year-end period. Everyone has an idea of how the perfect Christmas should look, but it’s important to be realistic. 

(P.S. If you’re feeling generous this holiday season and notice that a friend or colleague is having a rough time, you may want to reach out. Try extending him or her an invite to your holiday gathering, or simply offer a listening ear. Things are always better when someone feels less alone 👭.)

TL;DR

• Holiday blues are real… and Gen Zs are not exempted from feeling them
• Expectations of feeling fun, happy and festive all the time can cause a reverse effect of more stress and unhappiness for people 
• The financial pressures of feeling obligated to travel or spend on gifts can also add to one’s general dissatisfaction 💸
• Having a budget during the festive season and finding creative ways to celebrate the holidays can help make things more enjoyable 🎊😀
• Reach out if you know someone who might not be having the best time this year-end period; you never know how your gesture could help him/her get through the holidays