On life transitions, legacy, and money

I DID not write for this column last month. My mum passed away and when I asked Genevieve Cua, Wealth Editor of The Business Times, if I could delay my submission, she suggested that I should take a break which was good advice.

Mum was precious to me, and I needed time off to grieve. My mum had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) for more than a decade and being warded in the hospital was a regular affair for her. But about 8 months ago, they found a 2.2 cm malignant tumour in one of her lungs. We were devastated but since mum was too old for treatment, there was nothing the doctor could do. We simply prayed that it would not grow too rapidly and hoped that mum would have a few more good years with us.

Then in February this year, just after Chinese New Year, mum got warded again. Her tumour had grown to about 8 cm in size. But she was still strong and not in too much pain or maybe she was but was just enduring it. After some discussion, my siblings and I decided to put mum on palliative care, and we started getting things ready at home. We bought an oxygen concentrator, wheelchair, hospital bed, air mattress and even found a helper to aid us in the caregiving when we expected mum to weaken in the months to come. But before all these things could happen, mum passed away suddenly on March 14.