Acing the exit interview, and why you shouldn’t use it to let loose

SO you’ve submitted your resignation letter to your supervisor, prepared your handovers and trained your replacement. One of the last things to do before you leave your job is the exit interview.

Many departing employees think of this as a formality — and I am sure, in a number of companies, human resources (HR) agrees — but I would argue that for both sides (employee and employer), the exit interview can be a valuable opportunity to share and discover constructive and useful insights on how the company can improve and better retain its talent.

HR consultants I spoke to on this topic were divided over how candid you should be.

That is understandable given the wide range of possible scenarios, but here are some principles to bear in mind.

Two main questions

Richard Bradshaw, Asia chief executive of recruitment firm Ethos BeathChapman, said you should prepare to answer two questions that will almost definitely be asked:

• Why are you leaving?
• Where are you going?

He describes these as “big potential banana skins” and strongly advises that the answers are rehearsed ahead of time.

“In our experience, the critical question is how much you should share, and so, as a pre-emptive measure, analyse the situation to arrive at the best answer for that,” he said.

Employers will always ask the second question, but you need not answer it.

“You are not obligated to open the floodgates,” he said, warning that answers to this question may contain “powerful triggers to turn the meeting ugly”.

As for the first, there is likely to be a list of reasons you might have.

Which to share would depend on what you know about the company, who is conducting the interview and, as HR consultant Carmen Wee explained, whether you’re ready to burn this bridge or are keen to keep the company’s doors open for a future return.

“I think the most obvious reasons a lot of people in Singapore give are (a) better opportunity, (b) better pay and (c) personal reasons,” she said.

The case for being candid

Wee, who runs her own advisory firm, encourages larger degrees of honesty — especially if you know you aren’t coming back and won’t need to preserve good relationships with the company’s management.

“I think it’s a good thing (to speak candidly), because then, whether or not the company does anything, it doesn’t matter, but at least you are honest. You’re true to yourself, and you really would do something about it.”

In cases involving potential criminal offences such as sexual harassment, intimidation, and corruption, Wee said these should have been raised way before leaving the company (alongside the filing of police reports).

If, for some reason, such information was held back, the exit interview could certainly be an important (and also the last) chance to raise these legitimate matters.

Even if you didn’t experience workplace abuse, Wee still advocates being frank in feedback — just make sure your observations are backed up with clear examples and evidence. It would also help if you know your views are not held only by you.

“You never know if your feedback could trigger a domino effect; what you say could well change things for the better for any friends or teammates you might leave behind.”

The case for discretion

Bradshaw advocates speaking honestly in the exit interview too, but advises being “economical and pragmatic” with what you share.

“Mentioning that you are on the verge of joining a competitor as opposed to a potential client will garner a completely different response at an exit interview,” he said. “Similarly, your true feelings about a toxic colleague or boss that led to your departure are best kept to yourself.”

If you decide to offer feedback when it’s solicited, Bradshaw also advises careful thought, and even rehearsals.

“The temptation here is to fire off that vengeful rant pinpointing exactly what irked you,” he said. “Stick to the facts and only the facts you are comfortable sharing, and also speak generally, not personally.” This, he says, will help you keep things professional.

Bradshaw noted too that there’s a chance information you share could be perceived as unsubstantiated, open to mistranslation, or misuse.

Whichever you choose, you still shouldn’t let loose

Both HR experts agree you should always assess the situation you are entering. Are you speaking to HR, your line manager, your team leader or the founder of the company?

“Be grateful, not hateful,” said Bradshaw. “Before anything else, thank your employers for their time, express appreciation for the opportunity, and acknowledge the learnings gained during your tenure.”

“You must always be very objective and professional,” added Wee. “If you want to let loose, it’s a whole mix of emotions, unhappiness and resentment, and it can definitely cloud how you come across.”

Wee offered five tips:

• Be professional
• Be clear and concise
• List specific examples of your feedback
• Keep the door open
• Wish the company all the best

Both reminded me that it is okay to choose not to answer a question.

“Be assured that you can always – diplomatically – say that you’d prefer not to share, or even better, don’t have strong feelings with regards to a certain question,” said Bradshaw. “Having a couple of evasive answers that help negate putting yourself in a tougher spot can be a great ace up your sleeve.”