Cultural expectations vs personal ambition: Finding your voice as an Asian leader

EARLY in my career, I found myself seated at a long, polished boardroom table in Tokyo, surrounded by elderly men in dark suits. The atmosphere was formal, the hierarchy unmistakable.

I was there to lead the discussion, representing the regional office in Singapore, but the expectation in the room was clear – they were waiting for someone else. I had been asked several times that morning: “Serene-san, where is your boss Ong-san?”

I knew what they were thinking: Surely, the “boss” was a much older man from the regional headquarters; someone who would come with a small army of assistants to take notes and carry his bags.

They were not expecting a young woman, visibly pregnant, in her late 20s. When I politely responded: “I am Ong-san”, I could see their surprise. In Japan, as in many parts of Asia, it was uncommon for women, particularly those who were young and pregnant, to take up senior roles.

It would not be my first such experience. Throughout my career working for American multinational corporations (MNCs), I have encountered two vastly different leadership styles.

In Western-dominated boardrooms, the loudest voice gets heard; and sometimes wins. The traditional Asian approach of quiet diligence can sometimes be misunderstood as passivity or lack of ambition.

Navigating these two worlds – where cultural expectations clashed with personal ambition – forced me to reconcile two seemingly opposing forces: the quiet, respectful Asian approach I was raised with and the more outspoken, assertive Western style I encountered daily in the global corporate world.

Respecting traditions, honouring ambitions

In Asia, respect for hierarchy and elders runs deep. Deference to authority was also something I had been taught to uphold.

In the fast-paced, competitive environment of an American MNC, however, staying silent often meant being overlooked. The corporate culture rewarded those who spoke up quickly and decisively, and the more reserved Asian approach could easily be misinterpreted as a lack of leadership potential.

I realised that I needed to adapt without losing the values that were important to me. I learnt to assert my ideas more actively while still respecting the hierarchical and relationship-focused culture that resonated with my upbringing.

In meetings with Korean or Japanese clients and teams, I began offering solutions and insights more boldly, understanding that my contributions were valid even if I did not fit the traditional mould of what a leader should look like.

Balancing East and West

While working in an American MNC, I sometimes found myself the only Asian woman in the room. Many times, I would observe colleagues pushing their ideas forcefully – using the sheer volume of their arguments to dominate discussions. It was a sharp contrast to the Asian leadership style in which harmony, collaboration and listening were often emphasised.

I decided to blend both approaches – adopting the clarity and decisiveness of Western leadership while staying true to the collaborative and reflective nature of Asian leadership.

In one negotiation with a major client, my Western counterparts were pushing aggressively for a resolution. My instinct was to pause and analyse the situation more deeply. I took the time to listen, understand the concerns of all parties, and then presented a solution that addressed the core issues without adding unnecessary conflict.

The client appreciated the measured approach, and we reached a deal that satisfied both sides. By integrating both styles, I was able to navigate the aggressive dynamics of the corporate world without losing my sense of balance.

The power of quiet confidence

While loud, assertive personalities often seem to dominate in Western settings, I learnt that quiet confidence can be equally powerful. I have seen that actions speak louder than words – especially when backed by calm, confident decision-making.

In an environment where assertiveness was often equated with competence, I learnt to assert myself in ways that were true to who I am.

I did not need to change my personality or become someone I was not. I simply needed to own my space with confidence. I let my results speak for me and, over time, my team and colleagues began to see that my more measured approach was just as effective – if not more so – than those who rushed to dominate the conversation.

During a high-pressure regional sales review, several leaders were pushing for a quick decision to move ahead with a new market entry strategy. I could sense that the data was incomplete, and I held back from jumping on board.

Instead, I asked a few critical questions that had not been addressed. This exposed gaps in the plan, and solidified my role as a trusted decision-maker – someone who could combine quiet reflection with strong leadership.

Challenging stereotypes

As an Asian woman, I have faced stereotypes in both the East and the West. As a young woman in a senior role, I challenged long-held Asian beliefs about who could lead. In the Western corporate world, I had to confront stereotypes about Asian leaders being too passive or reserved to take on high-profile roles. Both environments required me to assert my value, in different ways.

At one point in my career, I was the only woman on a global strategy team tasked with shaping the direction of our division.

My voice was not always the loudest, but I made sure my insights were always informed and backed by data. By consistently proving the value of my contributions, I slowly dismantled the assumptions about what an Asian or female leader could achieve.

In both environments, I have learnt that leadership is not about conforming to expectations – it is about rising above them.

Creating a new legacy

As I reflect on my journey, I realise that my experience straddling two cultural worlds has shaped a new kind of leadership – one that embraces both Eastern values of respect and collaboration and Western ideals of assertiveness and decisiveness.

Finding your voice as an Asian leader requires both cultural sensitivity and personal ambition. It is about knowing when to assert yourself, when to listen and how to bridge the gap between different leadership styles.

True leadership comes from knowing your worth, owning your space, and finding a balance between the values you were raised with and the goals you set for yourself. That is how I found my voice as an Asian leader in the global context.

The writer spent over two decades in the clinical research and healthcare logistics industry. She is also founder of senior women leaders business network Phoenixus.