Unhappy at work? Yes, you should complain

IN ONE of my previous jobs, I learned that a married member of senior management appeared to have gotten involved with a recently-hired colleague.

I was rounding off three years there, and a series of poor hires had made the team culture quite unpleasant – toxic, really. Several of us were frustrated by how things had gotten. We also had colleagues who were not pulling their weight – including this new and highly-paid colleague – and were instead carried by the few of us who bore most of the workload.

After noticing that nobody was doing anything about our collective infuriation with the situation, I could not bear it any longer. But instead of whistleblowing or going to HR about this senior manager’s lack of professionalism, I instead blurted out something that was a bit too telling to the person’s partner when they visited the office.

My supervisors were surprised I wasn’t fired for doing that. Looking back, I’m surprised that I got away with just a one-on-one meeting with the person I accused, which entailed the most awkward and painful conversation I will probably ever have at work.

Which brings me to this week’s topic: unhappiness at work, and what to do about it. My stance is that you should absolutely speak up if there is something at work that you’re not happy about – but how you do so is key (obviously not how I went about it in the story above).

What happens when you don’t complain?

Nothing. Which is exactly the problem. Nothing changes, nothing improves – and nothing has a chance of improving – if you don’t let anyone know that you’re unhappy about a situation.

This is especially if the situation affects your ability to work effectively and is beyond your control – but might be within the control of somebody higher up in the food chain.

I know, it’s tough to speak up. All our decades of life, especially in Asia, have taught us that we are better off not causing trouble, poking the bear, stirring the pot – pick your expression of choice.

But if you don’t raise the issues you’re facing – at a minimum to your supervisor – then you have to recognise that your unhappiness is at least partly your own fault.

Your unhappiness will fester, you’ll become bitter and unable to focus on doing good work or finding meaning in it, and you might go on to affect – and infect – your colleagues with the toxicity building within you.

How to complain effectively

So if you’re now open to trying your hand at complaining, here are some things to consider:

• Figure out the process to follow. It’s always best to follow due process, at least initially. Go to your supervisor with your problem – or if they are the problem, go one level higher. You may also have to use the company’s whistleblowing channel (if there is one) or go to human resources.
• Eliminate emotions from the equation when planning what to say. Instead, focus on the facts of what has happened, or what is going on. If it’s something that affects you emotionally, you may want to take a step back and wait until you can think rationally before lodging your complaint, or to speak with a trusted family member or colleague to work through your thoughts.
• Arm yourself with data, where applicable, to show that the problem is real and credible. If you’re highlighting a systemic issue, collect multiple examples – as many as you can, in as many different contexts as possible. More data is more convincing, and adds weight to your complaint, making it harder to ignore.
• Consider language and tone. Think about the person to whom you’re talking, their working style, and thus the best way to share this issue with them. Also consider the implications of sharing your complaint with them – what kind of situation might you be putting them in, by making them party to what is going on?
• Bring a list of plausible solutions to the table for exploration. This will prevent anyone from saying you are whining or, well, complaining without being constructive.

Switching roles: how to manage complaints well

Now, what if you are at the receiving end of these complaints? If you’re a manager in a company without a culture of candid feedback, you may first want to consider the benefits of nurturing such a culture: talent retention, building a good relationship with your team, and nurturing trust with them – as their boss – as well as within them.

Secondly, you’ll need to be mentally prepared to accept feedback in the first place. For those of us who are used to communication where things are hinted rather than said outright, hearing direct negative feedback won’t be easy.

But if you’re struggling with this, know that you have the right to examine the feedback and determine which of it is valid and sincere, and worth responding to and acting upon.

Establishing a successful feedback culture comes down to the structures put in place. Make it clear to staff what the best way to provide feedback is, and what processes to follow. Include an anonymous whistleblowing channel, and of course, respect its anonymity.

In managing staff complaints, do consider how to manage the issue delicately, and validate the employee’s feelings. If the person’s complaint does not seem valid to you, try to explain this without coming off as dismissive. Sometimes, simply sharing further information can give the complainant a wider perspective.

It’s also worth trying to work through the issue with the staffer, if possible, with actionable steps. This is so they know that you take their feedback seriously and are sincere about making things better.

Both submitting and tackling work-related complaints can be tricky. It’s always tempting to maintain the status quo – not least if your company is one where complainants are judged, at best, or marked down in performance reviews and perhaps even managed out, at worst.

But if you persist in complaining or handling complaints effectively and constructively, your efforts will be rewarded by a better-quality workplace environment, culture and relationships.