Booty and a beast
At long last, BMW has decided to build a wagon version of its M3. The result is fast and versatile, but also irresistibly subversive
SOMEWHERE along the line, BMW’s M3 morphed from a lithe and athletic car with a knack for winning races into a full-on monster. Not only does it now have nostrils like a deep sea creature, its mighty engine breathes fire. It packs a 510 horsepower-strong wallop, enough brute force to hit 100 km/h faster than it takes me to finish a really good belch.
Here is the monster that eats things, then, only it ingests them up the back. This is the first wagon version of the M3 from BMW, and the result is a rocket with a huge payload.
The monster has a name, and it’s a long one: M3 Competition Touring xDrive. The “Competition” tag means it comes with more horsepower than the average M3, but that’s a non-issue because you won’t find a non-Comp unit in any showroom here. At this level, it seems, Singaporeans don’t second for second best.
The “xDrive” label means the engine drives all four wheels, which gives the M3 Touring fiendish levels of traction. It’s built for snowy alpine roads, so accelerating hard to join a rain-slicked PIE is going to be child’s play for the BMW.
That leaves the “Touring” badge, which is what BMW affixes to its station wagon models. Who knows why wagons are so rare here, but the M3 Touring is a properly useful car. Though it doesn’t actually look particularly big, the boot can take in 500 litres of stuff, and you can fold the rear seats to expand that to 1,510 litres in a jiffy.
There’s easily enough room for, say, a grandfather clock. You got rid of yours when it stopped short, never to go again? It doesn’t matter, because the point is that this M3 can do anything: trips to Ikea, a quick jaunt to your favourite mountain bike trails, or maybe a blast to Penang for dinner and a session at Sepang on the way back. It even has a handy cargo net so your pooch can ride with you safely in the boot.
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The M3 Touring’s ability to haul goods might seem incongruous with its ability to haul ass, but then there’s always been something subversively irresistible about fast wagons.
Show up at the track in a Ferrari and you invite more envy than admiration. But biff out a few scorching laps in an M3 Touring, and you immediately identify yourself as someone with both a taste for speed and a sense of humour (although you should probably leave the dog at home for such outings).
Chances are, your laptimes will be respectable, too. Though immensely powerful, the M3 Touring is a doddle to drive fast. It’s balanced and it has tonnes of grip, and the brakes feel like they could stop an Airbus. There’s a nice, communicative heft to the steering that makes it feel more engaging than a regular 3 Series, itself no bad thing to drive.
Through it all there is a bloody marvellous soundtrack from the engine, which has everything from cultured whirr to rousing howl in its sonic repertoire. Arguably, all the truly great BMWs have six-cylinder engines, and the M3 lets you know why.
Yet, if anything is more stirring than the noise, it’s the acceleration. When it comes down to it, the M3 is a tremendously fast car, so much so that it’s just not possible to pin the throttle pedal for five seconds without inviting serious legal trouble, at least on public roads.
Then again, this is a car so obviously built for the racing circuit. It is endlessly customisable for the fussy driver; the engine, gearbox and suspension each have three settings, the steering has two modes and even the brakes have two firmness levels. Believe it or not, you can tune the traction control system to 10 different levels, ostensibly to match your level of skill and bravery.
On top of all that, the xDrive system has a rear-wheel drive mode, so you can pull off long, smoky tail slides like a respectable hooligan. And if you can’t, the M3 Touring is a car that lets you work your way up to it.
It’s worth pointing out, too, that despite its fearsome abilities, the BMW is supremely comfortable when driven gently. It’s roomy inside, and the front seats are blissfully supportive.
That versatility is really what marks this out as a desert island choice. If you could only choose one car for the rest of your life, and needed it to do anything and everything, the M3 Touring is only one of a handful of candidates I can think of.
The predictable downside is that it drinks petrol like it’s going out of style (which, if you think about it, it is) and if you drive it as intended, the men at your favourite tyre shop will kiss you on both cheeks every time they see you. Would you expect anything less from a monster?
BMW M3 Competition Touring xDrive
Engine 2,993 cc, in-line six, twin-turbocharged
Power 510 hp at 6,250 rpm
Torque 650 Nm at 2,750 to 5,500 rpm
Gearbox 8-speed automatic
0-100km/h 3.6 seconds
Top Speed 250 km/h
Fuel Efficiency 10.3 L/100 km
Agent Eurokars Auto or Performance Motors
Price S$624,888 with COE
Available Now
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