The retirement we don’t have to earn

THERE is something strange about the way we discuss retirement.

For most of our working lives, we are told to prepare for it: save enough, invest wisely, take care of our health, build relationships, and develop interests outside work so we know what to do when the working day eventually ends.

All of this is sensible. Yet, sometimes I wonder whether we have quietly turned retirement into another achievement to be mastered.

We spend decades being told to make the most of ourselves. Then, when we finally reach the point where we have more control over our time, we receive another list: find your purpose; stay active; keep learning; volunteer; mentor; start a passion project; join a board; remain productive.

These things can indeed make life richer, and some people genuinely want to keep working, contributing and achieving long after they leave full-time employment.

But what if someone does not?

Consider the retiree who decides that what they really want is to sleep a little later, have kopi with friends, look after their grandchildren, tend to a garden, read the newspapers, go fishing or simply spend an afternoon doing nothing in particular.

Would that be an unsuccessful retirement?

Finding meaning

A meaningful life should not be confused with an impressive one. An impressive retirement is easy to describe, with achievements to point to, photographs to show and positions to list.

A meaningful retirement may be much harder to see from the outside. It might look like walking grandchildren home from school every afternoon. Two old friends meeting at the same coffee shop every morning. Finally having enough time to cook lunch for one’s spouse.

There may be no new title, project or accomplishment to report, but that does not make that time less valuable.

Perhaps we have become so accustomed to quantifying progress that we struggle with anything that cannot be measured.

After all, Singapore is a place where optimisation comes naturally. We optimise education, housing, careers, savings and investments. We think about productivity, employability and lifelong learning.

Much of this has served us well. But the logic of optimisation assumes that there is always a better version waiting to be achieved.

Retirement introduces an awkward question: What if there isn’t?

What if the goal is not to become a better retiree, but simply to have enough – and then decide for yourself what to do with the time you have?

We spend our working lives earning money for retirement. We should not also feel that we have to earn the right to enjoy it.

This matters especially because retirement is not experienced in the same way by everyone.

To each their own

For some, it is a long-planned transition made possible by financial security. For others, it arrives unexpectedly through retrenchment, caregiving responsibilities, health problems or a changing labour market.

Some people are happy to continue working but cannot find suitable employment, while others keep at it because they need the income. The idea that everyone can thoughtfully design an ideal post-work identity assumes a degree of choice that many people simply do not have.

More than a question of identity, retirement is also a question of money, health, family, work and circumstance.

Even the language of “staying productive” deserves rethinking. Productivity is enormously useful at work because organisations need things done. But must productivity follow us into retirement?

For someone who has spent three decades or more measuring their worth through targets, promotions and performance reviews, retirement should not require another scorecard.

We sometimes remind people not to let their careers define who they are. Yet, the alternatives can sound suspiciously like careers in disguise: boards, projects, leadership, contribution, achievement, purpose.

This might just be retiring from one set of key performance indicators and creating another.

Relationships, social connection, staying active and having interests matter greatly in later life. But there is an important difference between saying these things enrich retirement and suggesting that retirement must contain them to be meaningful.

The distinction is easy to miss when good research becomes lifestyle advice. Studies may show associations between social engagement, attitudes towards ageing and well-being.

Those findings are valuable, but they need not become prescriptions for an ideal retirement. Even when an activity is beneficial to people on average, not everyone needs to pursue it in order to have a good life.

Perhaps we need to become more comfortable with uncertainty. Not everything has to be optimised. Not every hour has to be productive. Not every retirement has to have a second act.

Enough is a choice

Some people may want to build something new; others may want to stop building. Both choices are valid.

Recognising that retirement does not have to justify the years that came before it can be quietly liberating. We do not need to prove that our working lives were worthwhile by making our retirement equally productive.

After decades of meeting deadlines and answering others’ priorities, there is value in having time that belongs to nobody but ourselves.

All this does not mean withdrawing from the world. It is having the freedom to decide how much of the world we want. This could mean volunteering, caring for family, travelling or learning something new.

It could also mean doing absolutely nothing on a Tuesday afternoon. The point is not which activity we choose; it is that we get to choose.

Perhaps the better question to ask a loved one approaching retirement is not “what will you do when you stop working?”, but “where will you dedicate your time?”.

Retirement is the one stage of life where “making the most” does not have to mean achieving the most. Enough is enough. Ordinary is enough. A quiet life is enough.

Perhaps the “best” retirement is not the one that looks great from the outside, but simply the one that feels like your own.

The writer is a senior adult educator and learning professional.

Switching Lanes is a column exploring the diverse realities of life after a full-time career. From finding fresh purpose to savouring newfound freedom, we are redefining retirement.

Have a perspective to share? Write to btletter@sph.com.sg with the subject, Switching Lanes.