Will I ever feel financially ready for kids?

[SINGAPORE] As I near the age where marriage and children loom, I’ve found myself wondering if I can even afford to raise a child.

A friend recently voiced the same worry, and her mum’s advice was simple: “Don’t think so much.”

It struck me as reckless advice. Yet other friends say their parents told them the same thing: You will never feel fully ready, so have the kids first and figure out your finances later.

That might have worked for them. But with artificial intelligence threatening job security and the climbing cost of living, delaying parenthood – or skipping it altogether – may feel financially safer.

So, I did some digging into the costs and spoke to relationship counsellors and a life coach who have worked with people grappling with the same question. 

Cost of raising kids

Even before a child is born, expenses start with prenatal care, including doctor’s consultations and scans.

For delivery, inpatient hospital bills for uncomplicated childbirths range from around S$2,600 to S$16,000, depending on the ward and hospital, according to Ministry of Health data.

Following that, you’ll have to pay for food, diapers, healthcare and childcare. Later, there are school expenses and tertiary education to consider.

Given how competitive Singapore’s education system is, I’d add tuition too. Parents now spend about S$500 monthly on private tuition and S$260 on enrichment classes, according to a 2026 study by the Institute of Policy Studies.

SEE ALSO

What to do with your first pay cheque

When your parent becomes your business partner

‘Why not finish and graduate?’: Why these students hit pause on university

All told, various online estimates have put the cost of raising a child in Singapore at anywhere between S$250,000 and S$1 million, depending on factors like lifestyle choices and education paths.

Needless to say, raising a child isn’t cheap.

While more financial support for families – including the new SG Child Support Package, which provides each eligible Singaporean child up to S$62,000 – along with bursaries and government subsidies do help to offset costs, they naturally don’t cover all expenses. 

Understandable hesitation

Between saving for a Build-To-Order flat and covering everyday expenses, starting a family in our 20s – or even early 30s – feels out of reach for many of my friends.

One tells me that she has yet to pursue her current goals, such as an overseas work stint, travelling, or even simply spending on concert tickets guilt-free.

It’s hard to imagine adding another person to her budget when she is still trying to build the life she wants for herself. So for now, starting a family takes a backseat.

Many young couples want to first establish themselves in their careers and earn more to give their children a good head start in life, rather than having them grow up with financial limitations, says Theresa Pong, founder and counselling director at The Relationship Room.

I see that among some of my peers. They aren’t rejecting parenthood entirely, but they would prefer to spend more time preparing to give their children the best life they can provide.

To me, and those I spoke with, parenthood seems like a milestone that demands the best version of ourselves.

When are you ready?

“There isn’t necessarily a magic salary or amount in the bank,” says Winny Lu Aldridge, principal couple therapist of Just2Hearts Counselling, “that would suddenly make someone think, ‘Okay, now I’m ready to become a parent.’”

Anyone waiting for complete financial certainty may find that the goalpost keeps moving, she adds.

Rainy Rainmaker, life coach and founder of Rainmakers Coaching International, says that financial readiness often means different things to different people.

What feels “enough” is shaped by our upbringing, experiences, values, priorities and lifestyle expectations, and financial security isn’t guaranteed, as things such as unexpected job loss or illnesses can change our circumstances overnight, she adds.

What one can do, however, is plan for the things you can anticipate, Rainmaker says. This includes expenses such as the cost of childbirth, daily necessities and housing, while building a buffer for unexpected situations.

It helps, too, for couples to discuss the following areas before deciding to have children:

• Their expectations of financial security
• Their capacity to take on parenting responsibilities
• Their confidence in navigating challenges together
• The lifestyle changes they’re willing to make
• Why they want children in the first place

Still doing the sums

Having a rough gauge of the costs has not convinced me to forge ahead into parenthood.

I’d still rather take a longer time to work towards giving my hypothetical children a stable life than assume I’ll figure everything out after they arrive.

But I’m beginning to see why waiting to afford every possible version of their future could leave me waiting indefinitely.

I’m not ready to take my friend’s mum’s advice just yet. But at least I have a clearer idea of the costs involved, and time to think about what I’d want for my children and what I’d give up to afford it.

Until then, I have more immediate hurdles to overcome, such as affording housing and finding the right partner.