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🥺 Can’t we have it all?

In recent times, it seems to take a lot to truly thrive. Young adults today have higher standards when it comes to what they want in work and life – from expectations of a healthy work-life balance and fair pay, to deriving meaningful value from their work. 

But, wait, are such expectations realistic or even reasonable? 

In a bid to better understand this issue, Thrive held a gathering at Projector X: The Picturehouse last Thursday (Mar 16). With a turnout of over 150 young adults and industry professionals, the event’s main highlight was a panel discussion on the topic “What it means to thrive (not just survive!) in life”.

One of the panellists, Apurv Suri from SC Ventures at Standard Chartered Bank, spoke about his career in banking and his experiences with managing his mental health. 

“When I was in college, I saw many bankers with their fancy cars and nice suits,” Suri said candidly on why he chose banking as a profession. “I was enamoured by it simply because it seemed like a fantastic life, as they had everything they wanted.” 

While he grew to find intrinsic meaning in his work, the zeal that he had for his job was also his undoing. He recalled “working 16 to 17 hours a day without weekends off” during the pandemic, on top of a one-and-a-half-month stretch without a single day off. Even though that was a choice he made, it was not without consequences.

“At some point, I woke up and realised I had some real, emotional problems that I should deal with, so I sought professional therapy to talk about these issues,” he added, noting how he had been on “autopilot” for far too long. “I think that was a step in the right direction for me.” 

His main takeaway from that episode? Work cannot be life, and life cannot be work. “So make sure that you work hard and do whatever you need to do to make time for yourself,” he told the audience.

💪 Purposeful work

But what about those looking to find a core sense of purpose in their jobs – (literally) their life’s work? This would entail understanding the long-term value of one’s job and its impact on society. 

Fellow panellist Sam Neo, founder of HR consultancy People Mentality, pointed out that many people today have misplaced career goals. 

“Focusing on just the numbers part of things, and not the human part of them, is why people feel that there is no emotional connection (to their work),” said Neo.

Sabrina Ooi, co-founder and CEO of social enterprise Calm Collective Asia, concurred, also noting during the panel discussion that the work environment that an individual is in matters.

“If you feel like you’re just another number (at a company), it’s going to be really hard to have that sense of belonging and connection with your team or with the work that you do,” said Ooi. She added that finding one’s purpose and aligning oneself with that work could reduce phenomena like “quiet quitting” at the workplace. 

But even though one might find their job meaningful or fulfilling, the road is likely to still be tough. Therefore, perspective is key.

Panellist He Shuming, who is a screenwriter and director of the film Ajoomma, said he constantly faced rejection when pitching scripts. While it was a painful process, he learnt to take it in his stride, as rejection is par for the course in his line of work.

“Since I am in this for the long haul, I will allow myself to get upset for a few minutes and keep going,” he said. “You have to find ways to manage these things that can affect your mental health.”

🤙 It’s your call

Whether you’re hustling or taking it one step at a time, you’re figuring out the best way for you to thrive – and you should be proud of yourself!

That being said, some additional tips 💡 from the panellists include: 

• Understand what you as an individual can control; examine how your values align  with your career.

• When charting a course, create clear parameters for you to work within by objectively assessing your financial, social and personal situations.

• Focus on building on your strengths – don’t just work on your weaknesses!

• Always be accountable for your own actions in deciding your life’s journey.

• Be clear about your boundaries when making decisions.  

As Ooi put it, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to what you want to do in your career since, after all, there are seasons for everything in life. “Fundamentally, I think it’s about what you want to do at the time,” she said.

TL;DR:

• Work ≠ Life 🙅

• Mental well-being should be a top priority 🧠

• Find a work environment that embodies values you relate to

• Continue to build on your strengths as you work on yourself!

• Ultimately, you define what thriving is to you 🌱