EVERY hotel wants you to save the planet. The messianic messages are everywhere – on little tent cards on the desk, proud notices on the bathroom door, and in dolorous the-end-is-nigh letters from the general manager. Every hotel is saving the Yanomami Indians, Atlantic salmon and mountain gorillas.

This mighty corporate conscience salve comes at some inconvenience to travellers who are urged to use less water, turn off the lights, reuse towels and sheets and eat less but pay more for organic produce on the menu.

Go vegan. Eat less red meat (unless it’s at our specialty steakhouse where grass-fed cows have been sustainably refashioned into methane-free, bite-sized morsels). Do no evil. Love your kids. Eat your celery. Try yoga.